I’m finally starting to feel better, it looks like the worst has passed. My next event was Sep 27, in Honduras and I was feeling a lot better. My flight went from Miami to Costa Rica. When I got to the security line in Costa Rica, I was shaking from chills. The security guard asked me if I needed a doctor. I waited in the airport for 5 hours, then flew to El Salvador, where I had another layover. I remember eating some popcorn, gummy worms, and bought a bottle of water. From El Salvador to Honduras I was sitting next to a priest. And I was tempted to talk to him about God, a subject I spent more time avoiding than anything else. Finally after nearly flying and connecting for 12 hours, I got to Honduras at close to midnight, went though customs and immigration. And the promoter wanted me to go straight to the preparty. I went there and was exhausted, but I did my job.

I realized how much weight I’d lost when I put my tight salsa performance pants on, and I looked like a clown. I learned how to pin a pair of pants to make them look like they fit. The shiny tight salsa shirt however looked like I was wearing a blouse, it was so loose on me.

Each day while in Honduras I went to the sauna and the steam room and stayed there, too tired to do anything else. All I wanted to do was sleep. I taught my workshops, did my best to social dance, and that was the last time that I had a drink, a rum and coke. I fell asleep sitting a chair at the party.

Week 5 – I’m back from Honduras and there is no up and down. I’m just tired. I can eat but food still tastes bad. I spend some days biking to the beach and just laying in the sand watching people play volleyball. When asked if I’m up for a game I can only respond “I’m sick. Just here to watch.” I tried to play a game and could not hit the ball over the net. It was too far away. Determined to get over this I went out one morning and just kept serving balls until I got 10 over the net. Phil helped me to try and hit some balls, but I just could not move. I would rest for 5 minutes after hitting just a few balls.
I remember playing the last game with Marcus. We won and I just couldn’t play again.
Randomly Willie said to me that he knows a doctor that’s not expensive. What did I need a doctor for? People are walking up to me from the volleyball community and saying “You’re really skinny.”
Joanna was quick to point out that my butt was completely gone. I always prided myself on my butt.
I stopped being able to go to the beach because I had to pee so often that I couldn’t even watch people play a full game. I would go across the street to use the bathroom and by the time I got back to the courts… I had to pee again.

Finally while housesitting I mentioned to Mare, and told her that I was really feeling funny. She suggested I check my temperature. Her thermometer was in Celsius, and came in at just over 38º. Doesn’t seem to bad. Then I converted that to 100.4ºF. She told me to take some ibuprofen immediately. I went to sleep and woke up in puddles of sweat. For 3 days. It got to the point that I would rather just have a fever than sweat from taking ibuprofen. I can heal myself. I just have to eat right. And do pushups.
Then the unthinkable happened.