This week has been intense. The old Shaka would have closed up completely.
And then probably melted down.
My biological father died when I was 15. The man who raised me, and I consider my father is my stepdad, his name is Govan and he is one of the strongest, and bullheaded people that you would ever be lucky to meet.
Our connection was never talked about, it just happened. One day I was sitting in the hospital just staring at the clock. I started thinking about Govan, and that I hadn’t spoken with him in a while. Like really just talked to him. Then my phone rang, and it was him. Crazy right?
This was at 5:30am.
We talked for the next 4 days, always at 5:30 in the morning. There was no absolute reason for this ungodly hour other than we were both awake. The conversations always ended not by choice, but because his landline cordless phone battery would die, and the call wo..ul…-
“hello?””
I was annoyed with the phone battery thing, and I started to harass him about getting a phone. just a regular landline that plugs into the wall so that we can have our talks without me having to worry about the battery dying.
Did I mention that Govan is a double amputee, diabetic, overweight, 72 year old man?
He said he would get the phone. On our last conversation, which happened in the middle of the day after another dropped morning call I yelled at him.
“Mr Govan, I need you to make it your mission to get a plain landline phone. No batteries, no cordless. I need you to get a gran-gran phone. Can you make that happen?”
Gran-Gran is my great-grandmother. She had one phone on the first floor. a plain yellow wall mount in the kitchen.
Govan was quiet. I kept going into him and he cut me off quietly
“I’m sorry. I slipped in my wheelchair. I’m not in a comfortable position right now. Let me call you back”
I apologized and let him go.
I got no phone call the next morning. I would give him time to clear his head. The next day I got no call, so I called with no answer. I realized what an asshole I had been. Why was I making his life hard? I went to Amazon and spent $12 for a phone, shipped to the house.
I called again the next day, and got no answer. Then we got the call that he was in the hospital. He was found in the house laying on the bed, his body melting. His scrotum was swollen, he wasn’t responding. He was being rushed to the emergency room.
The doctors couldn’t even operate on him to drain his body of the infection, because the anesthesia would kill him. He needed two operations minimum, one to get the openly and internally infected tissue out of his body, and another to clean him up. Which meant putting him under twice.
They did the first surgery, got him under with the feeding tubes and breathing machine and all. Surgery went well. But he hasn’t woken up as expected. They did an MRI and were waiting for the results.
Then they did the second surgery at the bedside. Which is kinda weird because he was supposed to get put under twice, which was why they weren’t going to take out the tube, that’s what they told me.
MRI results were back. Govan had had an ischemic stroke. Paralyzed on the left side. He is most likely not coming out of it.
The old Shaka would be broken. This Shaka is fine, and only concerned about my mother.
Sometimes there is talk of strength and inner peace and being in a new place within and can handle anything. Eventually that talk will be tested. I believe that I’ve passed the test. I still feel like I can do anything, and change the world.
My sister held the phone to Govan while he was in the hospital and I told her not to worry about it. That whatever he wanted to say, I already knew. And believed.
When they unplug the breathing machine and take the feeding tube out of him, it’s done.
I love you Robert Govan, and I am proud to say that I am your son.
Thank you for teaching me how to handle things. Just mad at myself it took me so long to learn it.
Mom is heading to the airport right now to see him. She’s doing alright.
I still feel powerful.
I still wake up smiling and thankful for every moment.
I got the message from amazon that the phone had been delivered.
I’m doing alright.