“The world is your oyster, but you don’t crack it open on a mattress!”
-Willy Loman – “Death of a Salesman”
My mother came to Miami on Saturday. A girls’ trip to the beach.
Her departing flight was at 11, and I found myself in the position of having her take a taxi, or waking up early to pick her up from the hotel to drop her off at the airport. I was hoping that she would insist on taking a shuttle so that I wouldn’t need to get up early. They told me that it was no problem for them to take a taxi, that I didn’t need to inconvenience myself.
A year ago I didn’t have the option to get up at the time I chose. I didn’t have the option to take a walk outside when I felt like it. I was lucky to be able to leave my room for an hour at a time. I was bound to a schedule, in a hospital bed. Staff change at 7am. Breakfast at 8am. One hour outside at 9am. Medication at 1030am. Lunch at noon. One hour outside. Medication at 2pm. Dinner at 5pm. One hour outside. Stare at the walls and hope for visitors. Sleep. Repeat. There was no such thing as a weekend, or a holiday. I lived this unchanging schedule for 4 months.
Getting up at 730am to drive up to 75th street and take her to the airport wasn’t an obligation. It wasn’t a favor for her. It was a chance for me. I could take a shower without covering the tube running from my arm into my heart. I could walk down the stairs. I could ride my bicycle. I could have the sun on my face at 8am. My mother is normally 1000 miles away. Today she was 15 minutes up the street. I could hug her and take her out for coffee and bagels.
Or I could stay in bed for a couple more hours. When I look at it that way, it’s not even a choice.
What bothers me is that I had to come to that conclusion, and almost lost the chance. It should have been obvious. It’s so easy for me to slip into selfishness, I have to make it an active process not to let that happen. Many people have a tendency to first say “No” or “I can’t” or “It’s out of my way”. It becomes a gut reaction. Our mindset becomes “how to not do” before we think about the opportunities that arise from doing. The blessings in life are all around us. We don’t even need to look for them, just keep our minds an our eye open to receive them. I’ve spent enough hours in bed.